A Momentary Pause

A Momentary Pause

Edward J. Kaull

When I am quiet, I can hear the pause between my heart beats
I can feel the momentary silence
It is quiet and tense like a held breath
and then, a quiet throb
After each pause, life again
and after each throb, a pause
then go

Each pause is like a second reality
Soft and quiet
Another world
I hear every bird
Every leaf that rustles
The wind slipping by

And then, throb
noises comes back
I lose track of the bird song to voices and clutter
I no longer hear the wind
I hear tiny giggles from my son from out in the yard
A car drives by

Each pause gets longer and that world becomes more real
Each throb gets shorter
No footsteps are heard
No machines clank past
Just small, peaceful sounds
Misty sounds heard through a veil

Slowly, one world subsides to the next
Each pause adds to the weight of the scales
When will the tipping point come
When will one world eclipse the other

One day, things will become different
It will happen
The joy of this world will fade and become a memory
A new and better world will take hold
I am ready
I will look up with hope
That last breath
That last moment
But not yet
Please, not yet

Lengthen my days oh, Lord
Let me see every moment of this bright and sunny world
Give me time to bask in the joy of my family
My sweet son
My cherished wife
Let me have a noisy Sunday
Let me be distracted a bit longer
Give me time to fully savor this gift

I need more
More warm hugs and soft kisses
More sweet looks from my wife
Let me haul in a big fish and watch my son’s eyes widen
Let me watch the green leaves bounce and bend from the rain storms
More chaos, more noise, more clutter
Please, give it to me
I want more


  1. Make your way over May Hill Ed. Watch the flowers bloom and your son playing in the sunshine. Fight the good fight and hold them tight you love. They love you too and will always want the best for you.

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