Sometimes, life feels like a boulder lodged in a ditch. If you have cancer then I’m sure you “get” me. It’s sunny, warm and a nice breeze is blowing but you have the drapes pulled and you’re “hibernating”. Reality catches up with us sometimes and no matter what we do we cannot shake it. What’s worse, is when you’re in THAT “spot” things tend to pile up. You know, the giant medical bill for your scan comes in the mail or you fall or …. something happens to make matters worse. Of course, timing is everything and the one person who could make you feel worse does and says something crazy about your cancer. I think that boulder just sunk a bit. But, it’s the thought that counts and not the words you use to express those thoughts, right?! That’s why my attitude is summed up in two words. SAY ANYTHING!
Please Say Anything
I often read about cancer patients telling people what they can and cannot say. Don’t call it a fight because that’s violent or toxic. Don’t tell me to keep fighting because that sounds like I quit. Don’t say I’m strong because I’m not always strong. Don’t tell me I look good, don’t tell me I have courage and so on. You probably can make a list yourself.
I have to say, I’m different. You can tell me to keep fighting, call it a journey, hang tough….and so on. The thing is, and this is just me, but when I’m in a hole and somebody comes with a ladder then I don’t complain about the type of ladder. 😀 That’s how I see it. Having cancer can feel like you’re in a deep hole with no way out. Then the sun goes dark and you look up and it’s just the shadow of the person who happens to be standing in front of the sun who came to give you a hand outta that hole! 🙂
So, for me, yes…call me a warrior, say I have courage, tell me I look well, call it a war or a fight or a journey. SAY ANYTHING!!! Just say something! 😀 We’ll work out the details later. I am happy that this person has thought of me enough, AND overcome whatever awkwardness might exist, to express their care and concern for my condition. So, I don’t care what they say! SAY ANYTHING! 😀
Say Anything But Don’t Be Cruel
Now, I’m not advocating thoughtless and cruel speech. Let’s be kind and considerate towards each other. You know, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” ~ The Golden Rule. That comes from the Bible, did you know that? (The New Testament book of Luke chapter 6 verse 31.) I didn’t know that for a very long time. 😀 I love old fashioned ideas for living.
There’s an old fashioned phrase called graciousness. The idea is that we should allow each other to make mistakes, think the best of others, be courteous and so on. I am shocked and appalled at how many “cancer patients” are so calloused toward each other and have no care for their fellow man. They will say anything…literally and have no regard for the feelings of others! I know of many Facebook friends who are in “dark days” either physically, emotionally or both. One cruel word might send them reeling! I wouldn’t want to be responsible for that. My only thoughts are how can I help but, as it turns out, I really can’t. Not really. We are separated by time, distance and many times the inability to travel. What can I do? Well, I can be kind. 🙂 I can pray for them. 🙂 Maybe I can send them some small encouragement? As it turns out, no matter what small gesture I make, it is received with open arms! I can tell you this as well, when friends are kind to me it does wonders for me! It brightens my soul. I remember being in the hospital and checking Facebook and seeing so many kind comments wishing me well. It made a huge difference. 🙂 On the other hand, cruel and calloused words wound deeply. I’m sure that I don’t have to tell you that.
My Promise To You
My promise to you is that I will always try to be kind, practice the golden rule and be gracious toward you as best as I can. 🙂 And, if you choose to encourage me, don’t worry about saying it “just right”. I am thankful for your presence and your added effort to show your concern about my plight. 😀 Say Anything!!!